By Paul G Saver
In your family, what is central and core? Is it your financial or economic foundation? Is it the knowledge or skills that you possess? Is it the freedom that each family member has to be their own person? Or is it your relationships rooted in true love? When you think of your teenager, what is it that counts above all else?
Several months ago my sisters husband answered this question which struck a cord within for two main reasons. Firstly because it came across as so simple yet so clear. Secondly, because it came from a person who appeared to me as a really money oriented beyond all else. His answer was, "Paul, the only thing that really matters at the end of the day is your relationships. What else is there?"
Parents of teenagers take heed. It is your parent teenager relationship that is your treasure. If not cultivated it can become virtually non existent so that you the parent and your teenager become like "ships passing each other in the night". Worse still, your relationship can become like a poison and source of great pain.
So what is the reasoning that says that your parent teenager relationship is so crucial? To be in a position to positively influence your teenager, they must view you as part of their quality world. In other words, your teenager must highly value their relationship with you.
Unfortunately, if you are outside your teenagers quality world, all the effort you make to influence your teenager in a positive way, will seem like a waste of time. To compound matters, if your relationship is stalemated by accumulated resentment and even hatred, your actions can be counterproductive. For a parent, it is like their worst nightmare.
On the upside, if you realize that without a good working parent teenager relationship, your ability to parent is seriously diminished, and so you consciously decide to build your relationship, you will naturally be in a position to be able to exercise a positive influence on your teen.
The sixty four thousand dollar question is, how do you create a wonderful parent teenager relationship? A great question that is best answered by another article.
However the answer lies in the way you go about parenting. There are parenting approaches that are problematic. The irony is that many parents are so busy laying blame at the feet of their teenager without realizing they may well be the root of the problem. Conversely, they are the root of the solution.
To conclude, to be successful at parenting you need to begin by acknowledging that your parent teenager relationship is better than gold. Unlike gold though, your relationship needs daily nurturing.
Several months ago my sisters husband answered this question which struck a cord within for two main reasons. Firstly because it came across as so simple yet so clear. Secondly, because it came from a person who appeared to me as a really money oriented beyond all else. His answer was, "Paul, the only thing that really matters at the end of the day is your relationships. What else is there?"
Parents of teenagers take heed. It is your parent teenager relationship that is your treasure. If not cultivated it can become virtually non existent so that you the parent and your teenager become like "ships passing each other in the night". Worse still, your relationship can become like a poison and source of great pain.
So what is the reasoning that says that your parent teenager relationship is so crucial? To be in a position to positively influence your teenager, they must view you as part of their quality world. In other words, your teenager must highly value their relationship with you.
Unfortunately, if you are outside your teenagers quality world, all the effort you make to influence your teenager in a positive way, will seem like a waste of time. To compound matters, if your relationship is stalemated by accumulated resentment and even hatred, your actions can be counterproductive. For a parent, it is like their worst nightmare.
On the upside, if you realize that without a good working parent teenager relationship, your ability to parent is seriously diminished, and so you consciously decide to build your relationship, you will naturally be in a position to be able to exercise a positive influence on your teen.
The sixty four thousand dollar question is, how do you create a wonderful parent teenager relationship? A great question that is best answered by another article.
However the answer lies in the way you go about parenting. There are parenting approaches that are problematic. The irony is that many parents are so busy laying blame at the feet of their teenager without realizing they may well be the root of the problem. Conversely, they are the root of the solution.
To conclude, to be successful at parenting you need to begin by acknowledging that your parent teenager relationship is better than gold. Unlike gold though, your relationship needs daily nurturing.
About the Author:
As a parent of a teenager do you feel miserable when you think of your relationship? Are you angry? frustrated? stressed? Are you at your wits end as to what to do to move the relationship forward? If so, parenting expert, Paul Saver, is offering 7 FREE videos designed to transform even the toughest parent teenager relationship . Just click on the link.
